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Help I Want to Give Up!
Have you ever felt like you wanted to give up on something? Like Popeye, “You’ve stood all you can stand, and you can’t stands no more.” You’ve done everything you can think of. You have exhausted all of your financial resources and maybe even the resources of others. You’re not alone. Everyone has found themselves standing at the edge of a mental cliff, contemplating throwing their dream or goal over the edge and turning around and walking away.
I know you’re getting caught up in the frustration and the overwhelm of all of the knowledge you have to attain and completing unending activities to realize your dream and see your goal achieved.
- What if I told you that your cliff experience is part of the journey.
- What if I have some help for you.
- What if I could encourage you to keep going with a strategy so that you don’t give up, stop, or quit.
I Got You.
Let’s talk about the cycle of success – the excitement to create, the discouragement that comes from your perceived failures, and can lead to your overwhelming desire to quit before achieving your dreams and goals.
Why Do We Give Up Easily?
Have you ever wondered why giving up is one of the first thoughts you have when things get hard?
It’s partly because of the Pleasure Principle, also known as instant gratification. The good news is that you’re normal, and what you’re experiencing is part of the standard success cycle. You only want to experience pleasure and avoid discomfort and pain at all cost to satisfy your psychological or biological needs. You don’t want to delay, and actually, you are fighting putting off to a better time what is needed now, to achieve your dream and goal. Your mind isn’t renewed to press through the fight. Instead, you want to flee. The combination of anxiety and overwhelm is designed to convince you to give up.
I’m sure you’ve heard a variation of these sayings before:
- Success isn’t easy
- Green peas come before the dessert
- What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Disappointment and overwhelm are common when you’ve done all you know to do, and you haven’t achieved your dream or goal.
Let me assure you that giving up isn’t the answer – especially if you know that you know what you’re working towards is what you’re supposed to do, be or have.
Yes, there will be times when you want to give up; that’s normal. But giving up isn’t the correct choice.
The Result of Giving Up
Overnight success is a lie. Everyone who has succeeded has failed many times; those who have achieved great success have failed hundreds of times, and others have failed thousands of times.
Sometimes you have to work harder, sometimes you have to work smarter, sometimes you have to adjust and modify the plan, but you don’t give up.
You are not a quitter!
A quitter is worse than a failure.
Quitters don’t believe in themselves because they think they don’t have any strengths, gifts, or talents. Let me give you some truth here.
EVERYONE has a:
· Strength
· Gift
· Talent
What’s happening is that you are telling yourself the wrong information. You are basing your decision to win and succeed on a lie and probably on several lies – destructive thoughts and limiting beliefs.
The truth is that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and you have greatness to contribute to the world – to your sphere of influence. I’ve said this before and will continue to say it – there are people out there waiting for you. There are people out there, praying for everything that you are right now—all of your perceived imperfections, flaws, and weaknesses.
Giving up is not the correct choice. If you want to give up, tell yourself the truth. Admit to yourself that you’ve decided not to do the hard work. That you want to continue to live in the struggle, the overwhelm, and the anxiety that you’re in right now. Because it’s familiar, you think it’s easier – it’s actually harder to quit than to win. Living in continual pain, overwhelm, anxiety, disappointment, lack, disease, loneliness, poverty, and shame is much harder than living in continual peace, happiness, abundance, love, joy, health, fulfillment, purpose, significance, satisfaction, and accomplishment.
Stop telling yourself that you’re not enough because you’re sufficient for your today, and when you do the work, you will be more than enough for your tomorrow.
3 Quick Steps To Do When You Want to Give Up
Do what your future self will thank you for, not regret. Here’re 3 things to do when you feel like you want to give up.
1. Step Back from the Edge of the Cliff
If you don’t know how to deal with the emotions associated with quitting, they can overwhelm you. If you can’t immediately identify the feeling causing the overwhelm, do a root cause analysis. Simply put, find the reason(s) you want to quit, give up, and stop.
Let me brainstorm with you:
- Are you tired? – Mentally, emotionally or physically.
- Have you taken on more responsibility than you can handle? – You don’t say no to anything, or you’re afraid of missing out on something.
- Do you have a knowledge gap in an area you are trying to change?
- Did life happen to you, and you weren’t prepared? – you were living from paycheck to paycheck, so you didn’t have any financial savings, and COVID happened.
- Are you in the world trying to do everything for yourself – not willing to be vulnerable and ask for help, so you don’t have a support system?
- Did you set a goal, and now you’ve changed and want something different, but don’t know how to change direction?
Maybe I didn’t touch on the reason you want to quit, no worries.
Whatever your reason. The first step is identification. You can’t change something if you don’t know the cause.
2. Step into Thanksgiving and be Grateful
Since you’re considering quitting, you aren’t really in a positive attitude. You aren’t satisfied. To change, you have to modify your mental state, your attitude from negative to positive. The very best way to do that is to be grateful. So get some paper and a pen or pencil and write a list of 25 to 50 things you are thankful for. Don’t pull out your phone or use your computer to write the list. It’s essential to use the ole school method.
When you physically write, your brain is stimulated. The frontal lobe is the part of the brain responsible for speaking and writing, movement, reasoning, judgment, planning, and problem-solving. When you write down your thoughts, your neural activity increases in the brain, similar to meditation – providing you greater mental clarity, lower levels of stress, and reduced anxiety. Writing also sharpens the brain activating regions in the brain responsible for thinking, language, healing, and working memory.
So writing a gratitude list of 25-50 things you are thankful for interrupts that confusion built up inside of you that brought you to the edge of the cliff. It also stimulates, heals, relieves stress, and opens your mind to think clearly, allowing you to make a good choice. Writing is like using white vinegar on dirty, grimy windows. After you clean the windows, you can see clearly.
After writing or journaling, you can see clearly.
3. Step Back into Your Why and Visualize Your Success.
Okay, you are clear-minded, your attitude is adjusted, your stress reduced, and you’ve stepped away from the cliff.
Now take five deep breaths, close your eyes, and remember why you decided to pursue your goal.
Think about how you felt, why you decided to move forward, and your desired outcome. It was all sunshine and rainbows. Go back there to your victory.
Let’s Recap:
- You stepped away from the cliff.
- You got grateful, changed your mindset, and healed yourself.
- You visualized your why.
Okay, you should be better now.
You have not only stepped back away from the cliff, but you’ve turned around, and you’re ready to get back on the road to continue your journey. Before you pull off to continue your adventure, let me suggest that you schedule regularly planned rest stops where you pull off the highway and spend time with your gratitude list to stay thankful and visualize your why.
I’m hopeful this information was helpful to you. It works for me, so I know it will work for you if you do the work.
If you’d like to dive deeper and do some life-changing work, I’m launching the Self Mastery Lab next week.
The Self Mastery Lab is a monthly group coaching program. Each month I teach you how to coach yourself using your faith, science, and practical application to live the life you were called to live.
In the meantime, follow me on Facebook and Instagram @TheTrueSelfSchool. Four words.
The True Self School.
Enjoy Your Day.