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I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating.
What you think and feel about yourself and your abilities results from your life experiences that have conditioned your behavior and designed who you are today.
If your life isn’t what you want it to be, don’t throw in the towel, I’ve got great news for you. Just like the body is self-renewing and produces a brand new body of cells every seven years. Your mind is also self-renewing, and you can create new neuro-pathways in 90 days, with some work on your part.
YOU ARE YOUR THOUGHTS
Whatever you think about, dwell on, meditate, worry about, you become. When you focus on something, it materializes in your life.
When you intentionally focus your thoughts on the person, you want to be and the qualities and characteristics you want to embody and express, you implant and embed those thoughts into your subconscious. Your subconscious then goes to work through your actions to bring about your beliefs.
Your thoughts become your character and your personality.
Some people like to say they are “self-made,” this is a true statement. When you’re focused on what and who you want to be, do, and have. You will become the person, do the activities, and have the possessions and titles you desired. In essence, you make yourself.
So, if you’re not satisfied with your present life circumstances, you can change your thoughts, feelings, and actions to align with what you want to change.
GROWTH ISN’T EASY
Do you know someone who is constantly talking about what’s wrong with their life and how they don’t what they have? Those are the same people that think the same negative thoughts and have the same negative emotions – they continually create destruction in their life.
Thought is creative. When you hold a thought in your mind, it will produce, create, or manifest itself in the natural.
Here’s where the work comes in. To create positive self-confidence, you must take total, complete, systematic, single-minded control of your conscious mind. Consistently discipline yourself to think ONLY about what you desire and purposely omit the things you fear and don’t want.
YOUR INNER LIFE PREDICTS YOUR OUTER LIFE
Remember, change requires you live from the inside out. What happens in your outer world reflects what’s happening inside your mind with your thoughts and feelings.
Your happiness and success develop from living your life in harmony with the laws that govern who you are.
INTEGRITY OF YOUR INNER LIFE
If you want to enjoy self-confidence in your outer life, you must apply complete integrity in your inner world. Living your life consistent with your primary values and principles while thinking and acting in harmony with your goals is self-confidence 101. It’s the template of how you live.
When you’re crystal clear about what you believe is good, right, and worthy and live by your values, you will have solid self-confidence. When you are “true to yourself,” everything you do and say expresses your personal convictions.
WHAT ARE YOUR VALUES
Developing high levels of self-confidence starts with knowing yourself. It’s time to think through and decide on your values. Grab some paper and something to write with and
Ask yourself:
- What
- do you stand for?
- Won’t you stand for?
- Are you willing to sacrifice for?
- Would you work for?
- Would you die for?
- Do you value
- God?
- Family?
- Health?
- Career?
- Freedom?
- Compassion?
- Truth?
INTEGRITY IS IMPORTANT
You’re probably thinking, “Michelle, what does this have to do with trusting myself. Well, I’m glad you asked.
When you don’t know what you believe and how you’ll respond to situations contrary to your beliefs, you don’t trust yourself. You can’t.
You haven’t proven to yourself that you are trustworthy. You can’t because you say you want something and then do something else when situations and circumstances get tight or uncomfortable. Just like you build trust with others, you build trust with yourself through your experiences.
When you were a child, you asked your father for something you wanted or needed, and your father provided what he said he would. The next time you asked for something, you would believe that he would deliver as he did before.
So each time you asked, and he delivered as a child when you grew up, you would automatically trust and believe what your father said he would do. You would make life decisions based on his word to you. The same principle works with your trust in yourself. If you say you will do something and hard times come, and you talk yourself out of getting or doing something for yourself, you will have less confidence in yourself the next time you tell yourself you will do something.
VALUES ARE EXPRESSED THROUGH ACTION
What I’m saying is that your values are only expressed through your actions – what you do.
You can tell what you really believe by watching what you do in situations where you have to make a choice, especially under pressure.
It’s not what you say but what you do that shows what you believe and who you really are.
Take some time and look at what you’ve done in your life and see if your actions match what you said you wanted at those times in your life. If you’ve been “all talk” and no corresponding action, your self-confidence has taken some hits, and you may not trust yourself in some areas of your life, and that shows up in a sub-standard, unfulfilled, unhappy life.
Schedule some uninterrupted time and evaluate your life. If you have areas of yourself that aren’t trustworthy, it’s time to get to work and strengthen those areas.
Build and reinforce your self-confidence now, not when the storms of life are beating down your door.
Prepare for war in a time of peace.