Ep. 6 – Small Wins!

I was breaking my rule and doing some thinking in between Crime Drama episodes on TV this week, and I asked myself?

• What did I accomplish this week?
  • Last week was a trying week for me
  • Finishing up Master’s Thesis
  • Putting together the Self Master Lab Group coaching program that will launch soon
  • Corona Virus – Self-Quarantined
  • Protests over police violence
• Initially, my response was nothing, nada, zip.
  • As I began to think about it more after moving through feeling sorry for myself and segueing weighing into harsh self-condemnation, I realized something
  • I had some significant experiences

• • • Nothing I had planned to do for the week,
    • I think I only accomplished two of the dozen things that was on my weekly action plan

• • So you may be wondering, Michelle, what does this have to do with me?
    • I’m glad you asked
    • Let’s get into it.
• Like I was saying
  • Have you ever been down on yourself and watching the thoughts in your mind gang up on you

• • • And decide if you are going to be bullied by yourself or stand up for yourself and admit the truth and move forward
• When I planned this week, I knew I would be super busy, because I have several projects that are due at the same time and I’m plowing through things,
  • Because I have to get these things done
  • Between life happening
  • Trying to complete too many projects at the same time
  • The world is exploding with its issues affecting me even though I have fought to distance myself from those things.
• On top of the things I mentioned before
  • Master’s Thesis
  • Self-Mastery Lab group coaching program launch
  • Corona Virus
  • Protesting Police violence
• I also have six other goals that I’ve classified in my planner as four goals because I don’t want to admit to myself that I’m trying to do too much.
  • But that’s me – all or nothing
• What I realized is that
  • even though I have 24+ items to complete this upcoming week
  • because I didn’t get the dozen things I planned completed last week
  • I had some very significant Small Wins achieved this week
  • I call them Small Wins
    • Not because they were insignificant in size
    • They were major in
      • Clearing my soul – the emotional & psychological weight that was lifted
• Specifically –
  •  Self-Care
    • I allowed myself to feel every emotion that I was capable of feeling in the moment it occurred
    • I cried and when that became overwhelming
    • I looked for things to make me laugh
    • Listened to Gospel, Praise & Worship and Hip-Hop music
  • Staying up late
    • I wrote lots of responses to social media posts – that I didn’t send
    • Without editing, I spoke raw and truthful
    • Then I slept until I woke up and did the same things over and over again until
      • I conquered every emotion and said every word, I wanted to and needed  to say
      • Until – I didn’t have a need or desire to respond to a post, or forward breaking news, or cry
    • I didn’t bottle anything up – like I do a lot of time because it’s not something I should do, or I will hurt someone’s feelings, or that’s not behavior considered “proper.”
      • • It was all about processing what I was seeing, deciding how I wanted to respond and how I would respond
    • When the emotions and thoughts got too tight, I disconnected
    • I binged watched my favorite crime drama on TV, And I realized that I was getting scared and angrier.
    • So I started watching jokes and funny skits on social media to laugh and pick my mood off the ground
    • I was so enraged at times, I was under the concrete – I was so emotionally low.
  • I kept doing cycles of this over and over, day after day.
  • I didn’t get very much done on my planned list
  •  But
    • What I did accomplish was very significant and life-changing.
  • I practiced Self-Care
    • I took care of myself so that I could move into the other items that are needed to realize my goals.
    • By doing that work I was able to be there for others that needed me
    • Without giving them my portion of my life
      • And digging a deeper emotional outhouse
        • Where I dump emotions and thoughts that I don’t deal with
  • I was able to think clearly
    • • I saw connections that I would not have seen if I hadn’t taken the time to process and experience the emotions and thoughts that were flooding me, and overwhelming my life
      • Instead of using a 32-ounce plastic cup trying to remove the water that overtook my lifeboat
      • I steered my lifeboat to the first land I saw,
        • I got out of the boat
          • Laid down on the dry sand and caught my breath
          • Then I turned my boat over and drained the water out.
  • My life didn’t capsize
    • I wasn’t in danger of drowning
    • I took care of me 1st
    • Then I resumed my journey
  • I’m confident I can make up for most of the lost time
    • Because I’m
      • Safe
      • Dry
      • And focused on the next port on my voyage
  • My Aha’s – I realized that:
    • Even when I’m angry, frustrated and tired
      • I remember what my trainer Rick Applewhite from Liveright, told me when he was coaching me to confront my negative self-imposed physical limiting beliefs
      • He said, “When I want to quit, I still have at least 40% more effort and power left in me to accomplish my goal.”
    • I didn’t quit – so I’m still here.
• My challenge for you:
  • • • When things get “tight for you” and you didn’t accomplish or realize what you were planning and working for – ask yourself
        • What were your small wins?
        • What was your Aha’s?
• I like what the motivational speaker Les Brown says, “If you can look up, you can get up”
  • And I add, “If you can’t look up, figure out how to turn over, so you can look up and then use that 40% and get up!”